Prepare for the #LodanRespawn2024 Existing characters may choose to be displace from/have memories of different timelines, thereby allowing returning members the option to retcon their whole character. These changes are the result of the "Unnatural Fog" plot device that is running between now and the Respawn. The plot is simple: no matter where your character is, that place is shrouded in a thick fog that suspends time, but not thoughts or memories, so even if they're repeating the same day over and over again, they continue to remember, so each time feels like a new day. For those retconning OCs; this is where new versions of themselves have the opportunity to replace the old versions. Official lore and tree updates will be announced asap
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Feb 29, 2016 7:31:27 GMT
"That's how it works for most pains indeed." She commented with a bit of a weak chuckle, one of those that were just habit, when Lasair mentioned that his skin sort of dulled to it after the first moments passed. Truth resounding, alright. "The itching sounds annoying though. I can still soothe it if you change your mind about my magic, it's not like I'd be improperly touching you for it - but otherwise, you're probably braver than me." Or more desperate than her. Perhaps it's just her who naturally felt numb at times, that constricting yet hollow emptiness, and he just decided facing some little pain was worth whatever was the meaning he had for it. Or perhaps it was them both who shared that not-feeling and he he really was desperate enough for anything that even physical pain would do the trick. Whether it was one thing or the other she wondered, but wouldn't dare ask. Maybe a mix of both things. She knew she had to stop analysing him for everything, but it was hard to break from that habit. Either way, she couldn't really remember a day when she fully ran out of magic, even in busy work days. Her spells were used sparingly, and she still had all of her casts that day, mainly since she wasn't heading for any CAEsAL business right then. So if he chose to keep the itching on him or not was entirely his personal choice.
"I had meant both things, by the way. The feeling and the looks." She commented with that ghost of a smile still partially on her lips, though at his statement that he didn't know how to the describe the back she turned to look at the ceiling for a couple seconds. "...That overwhelming, hm..."
"All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Dalberg-Acton
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Feb 29, 2016 8:38:34 GMT
So he answered two questions that she had asked within one. Unusual, but productive. “I could heal it myself if it really bothered me, but I assure you it’s fine. It’s not even peeling anymore.” He mentally kicked himself; that second part wasn’t supposed to come out. Hopefully she wouldn’t think much of it. “I wouldn’t say I’m braver. I just got the idea in my mind, and I really wanted to have it done.”
His eyes followed hers to the ceiling, but only for a brief moment before returning back down to the table. There was plenty there to keep them occupied. For some reason looking at Edel felt usual today. But that was an easy fix; don’t look directly at her. When she faintly replied to the image on his back, he felt somewhat confused. Then it made sense; she was probably thinking of some grand mural that spanned his entire backside. Compared to that, what was actually there was rather under-whelming. He wanted to say something like ‘it’s actually really simple,’ but he caught himself this time. No, it would be safest to just move away from the topic of his back.
“Have you ever thought about getting something done? It could be a simple design, like a rose, something to look nice and hold its own personal meaning.”
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Feb 29, 2016 15:06:24 GMT
"I'd say a General doing something that risks them bleeding in front of someone else just because they 'want it done' requires courage at the very least."
She stopped looking at the ceiling and back to looking at him when he asked if she ever thought of getting something done. Something? Yes, surely. But he meant a tattoo done, and that meant... "...Not really." And was it just because it would risk her bleeding? No, not really either. Was it because the idea of removing cloth pieces in front of someone she barely or didn't even know came to mind? It held some truth, but wasn't everything. "Interesting suggestion, but of any of the things I have that hold or held meaning enough, I can't think of any of them being done justice with just a physical image. Besides, ink isn't the only manner people leave their marks on us." She shrugged slightly, then retook that previous position of just sitting there, glancing at her own intertwined fingers as her hands rested on her lap. A memory in particular crossed her mind at her last comment, and even though the moment had been sweet when it happened it was now rather painful to recall. Definitely, she did not want that painted on her skin; although she did have it etched into her in a different way. Not like Lasair would know though, and she wasn't sure she was willing to tell him - or anyone - for that matter.
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Mar 1, 2016 5:19:16 GMT
When he was sitting there in Syd’s shop, it didn’t feel like he was being courageous. No, he was just getting a visual representation of the pain he felt. Nothing more. It was a desire he had fulfilled, and he was simply lucky enough to have found a tattoo artist that wouldn’t throw him out for being an ander.
“I can understand that,” he said slowly, measuring out his words on his breath. And then it felt like this topic had been expended. He could bring it back, add a new question to be a breath of life, but he didn’t really want to. Edel could always return to it if she saw the opening to. “How has the guild been going? It looks as though you’re as busy as ever.”
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Mar 2, 2016 20:58:38 GMT
"We're getting by." She replied frankly. "Replenishing losses in personel isn't all that hard since we had an overflow of incoming people right before, but newcomers need training and time to adjust. Although admitedly, maybe me being 'busy as ever' is partialy deliberate." Again, having work to do helped to keep her thoughts ordered and at bay, even though that was inversely so for the mess on her coffee table. She stuck another truffle in her mouth and chewed on it some before swallowing and talking again.
"We do have a problem though-- I mean 'us' as both our guilds. Mingos new leader knows nothing of Amon's plans, so any interguild deals we had with them are best considered void. That includes EIRAL vigilance too. Except for whatever intel my own personel can get, we lost our 'inside eyes' regarding them."
"All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Dalberg-Acton
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Mar 5, 2016 1:21:40 GMT
He raised an eyebrow when she said there was a problem between both of their guilds. But the eyebrow fell back down once he heard what it was. Shrugging, he answered her in an almost bitter tone. “When Danny stepped down, he never informed me of there being any such deals between Mingo’s and MI. Even as a 2IC, the only information shared with me was the existence of the other guilds. No information on who led them, or how, simply that they were there. Once he was gone, it was up to me to figure things out and pick up the pieces. You’re the only leader to know that I’ve stepped up as a fellow leader, and I’d like to keep it that way. Danny was a man and woman to be feared, to be respected. I’m sure both Amon and the Pirates’ Leader knew that. But if they were to learn that the fierce Danny has become the charming Lasair? MI could, and probably would, lose some of its respect, its power. Even if it doesn’t seem that way, I know it’s true and it’s not worth the risk to disprove it. Not until I can’t avoid it any longer, at least.”
Folding and unfolding his hands for a few moments, seemingly lost in thought, he continued again. “Sorry for trailing off. And as for EIRAL vigilance, I have my own ways of keeping an eye on them. Although it will be unfortunate to have lost the nice system that Amon had set up. But, on the bright side, the man who stepped up to replace Amon is a friend of mine. You were there too, when we met him. I think I know enough about him to be sure that, if MI needed anything from Mingo’s, it could be arranged.” It felt unusual to talk so much, and about business no less. But it wasn’t just business. The business had transferred over into personal life and now the boundary was hazy and unidentifiable in Lasair’s life. His life was his guild now. Without it, he didn’t have any other reason to be around. And he knew that, which was why ensuring the safety of his guild was oh so important. And also why keeping up a good face with Edelweiss was important too. However, it would be a lie if he said he had come here strictly for his guild. There was a bit of selfishness behind his visit. Namely the desire to see someone like her again.
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Mar 5, 2016 3:34:07 GMT
"...'Friend of ours'." She corrected simply when Lasair mentioned Mingo's new leader was a friend of his. "Though, how should I put it... Wern isn't really like you or me." Was that an insult to Wern's skills? Definitely not. Was there a possibility to insult Lasair by admitting out loud the two of them are crafty bastards? Definitely yes. So she had to find a way to make it sound either diplomatic or friendly-casual. "Wern is as innocent as a potato." This should work. It wasn't even a joke - it wasn't mockery either, nor flattery. A blank statement uttered in equally blank tone, pretty much as she'd been speaking as for most of time. She could recall Wern coming to see her, around a week prior Lasair's current visit, and the words they exchanged then. How he wanted to believe that Amon might still be alive, and for once that equally matched her suspicions that something about that was amiss, but logically thinking there was no certainty for anything. And also certainly, while that unbased 'faith' was nice and gave some sense of hope to things, it also could be seen as naive... and end up hurting him. "And I'd rather he stays that way and not involve him in anything. If strictly needed, I would, but still, I'd rather not risk anyone else to get hurt if affordable. ...That's silly wishful thinking on my part, isn't it?"
She let out a small sigh and glanced at the ceiling again. It's not that she's avoiding looking at Lasair, but... for some reason, she felt a bit scared of seeing what face he might be making at her right then. "No need to apologise, I tend to ramble at times too. For the same reasons too. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much into it." If she is or isn't just imagining things, the only way to be sure would be asking directly. It was almost like a gamble. If there's nothing there, then he might even laugh at it. But that would be a good thing, even. Seeing him laugh again. "...Do you sometimes feel like you just don't feel at all?..." Like being numb. To everything.
"All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Dalberg-Acton
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Mar 5, 2016 4:20:58 GMT
Nodding to her comment about Wern being a potato, Lasair couldn’t help but speak up in reply to that. “I know he’s innocent; I explained to him what Anderswelters are. He didn’t know about them.” The conversation turned away from that then, which was fine. It was a blank statement not needing an answer. Although he hadn’t been certain whether or not Edel could call Wern a friend. One meeting did not a friendship make; Lasair had had two meeting, the second being especially interesting and thus he called the man a friend. If Edelweiss did as well, then so be it.
When she mentioned wanting to keep Wern innocent, he could only nod to her. Yes, it was better to preserve that. It could not be contained forever, but for a time it would be nice to maintain it. And then she asked an interesting question to him, one that made him derail is train of thought to start a new one.
After a couple moments of silence, he forced the words out of his throat, over his tongue, and past his teeth so that they could maybe reach her in the form of a whisper. “More than sometimes.”
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Mar 5, 2016 4:55:16 GMT
There was no denial, and no laughing. No relief either, although oddly enough it felt a little less lonely to know that. To not be the only one. Maybe she's not so broken then, or maybe they were just both broken together. It was hard to tell.
"I had guessed we had some things in common... But didn't wish this to become one of them. Sorry." She turned her face to glance back at him. He had barely whispered, and she could only guess that he had not found anything to fight that off still. That was alright. It was the same boat as having lost it too. Which actually isn't alright, but there was no helping it either. "...Have you done anything stupid to make it pass yet? Please say you didn't. It doesn't help... at least not forever."
"All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Dalberg-Acton
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Mar 5, 2016 5:29:23 GMT
His mouth went dry. Why was she asking him these things? Weren’t they just talking business? Oh. He was just thinking to himself how business and personal life were one and the same now. Right. But that still left him wondering why she asked. Why she cared. He wanted to tell her that he hadn’t, but was that really the truth?
“I’ve drank myself stupid a few times, but I was already doing that, for reasons in the past. It only helps once in a while. Gotta wait a month or so before I could get away with doing it again. Beyond that, you’d have to clarify what you mean as stupid.” Did she mean drugs? Did she mean fighting shadow beasts? That question could span many places and he needed some kind of direction if he was going to answer it more accurately.
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Mar 5, 2016 5:37:38 GMT
"Stupid as in 'anything that damages your physical integrity without there existing a strict need for it'." In that sense, drinking to much could qualify in a higher degree than zoning out to the point of accidentally burning herself with tea or tripping around things. Not like she could blame him though. At least he still had sense enough to not do it all the time. Sigh. "How about sleep? Getting enough of it?"
She'd have no issues responding to him why she cared. But he didn't ask, and she couldn't read minds. That'd be a handy skill to have.
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Mar 5, 2016 5:52:12 GMT
“Like getting a tattoo?” he responded to her definition. But then she continued on, bring up sleep. Sleep was a topic that Lasair did not enjoy having brought up. Could he admit to her that he was plagued by nightmares now? No, he couldn’t. It was embarrassing, shameful even. She didn’t need to know that.
So instead, “Kinda. Not really. Sometimes. I don’t know. I’m not falling over passing out, if that qualifies as getting enough.”
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Mar 5, 2016 6:16:36 GMT
"No, you sound like you had a good reason for the tattoo anyway."
It was a good thing Edelweiss had been glancing at him now. He was pulling that face. The 'Sleep Scares Me' face - the same expression, so to say, that a ton of the assassins and varied newcomers in her guild pulled at times, through the night for the younger and as delayed greetings through the day for the older ones - but mostly a face that occasionally greeted her in the mirror until she found a rather unusual solution for it. Sigh. "Just a minute."
She stood up, and came back a moment later carrying a small glass pot filled with what looked like little sugar candy. "The white ones last 6 hours, the pink ones 12 (so be careful with those). You'll just black out though; no dreams." She sat back down on the couch, then stuck the pot in Lasair's hand and kept it there. "If you don't care for raspberry flavor, sorry, but it's the only type I have. And before you say 'I don't need those' or 'I can make it myself': take them anyway. Think of it as a favor to me, or that they might come in handy sometime."
At least she didn't have to worry about him overdosing on those; the effects didn't accumulate if taken in one go. She wondered if that was so due to being casted by the same person, but no matter. Talking from experience, though ultimately she was glad mistaking them for sugar cubes some time before did not in fact end with her sleeping for days straight.
"I guess I'm done asking you strange things though... So in all fairness, it's your turn if you want."
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Mar 5, 2016 7:44:12 GMT
He tried not to accept the pot, but she shoved it in his hands. So he set it down on the coffee table. She wanted him to take them, despite protests, but that wouldn’t stop him from trying. With a slight frown, he replied. “They won’t help. I don’t get that black out sleep. Or if I do, it doesn’t stop me from waking up. If they help you, you should keep them. I insist.”
There was one question coming to his mind, a simple one that he found himself asking more and more often. But he couldn’t bring himself to pass it through his lips, not yet at least. First he had the settle the topic of these sleep aids first. He really didn’t want to keep them. He wouldn’t be able to bring himself to use them if he did.
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Mar 5, 2016 7:53:28 GMT
"These are made for it. And I have more than enough." She replied simply with another sigh, and it was true. And even if she didn't have enough, she could make more - if there was no sugar candy, then anything else edible would do. She could use tea if needed be. And even if Lasair doesn't intend - or simply cannot - use it for himself, he would have it easier reserving those for someone else who might also have trouble with their nights than trying to leave it with her. Had it been a couple months ago, she'd have retracted it, as easily as the offer. But it was too late now. She just felt like she had to do something, even if it's not necessary, or even pushy. In a way, it was a favor to herself indeed, rather than just to him.
"Anyway it's a good thing that you wake up after, not a bad one. I'm glad you do."