Prepare for the #LodanRespawn2024 Existing characters may choose to be displace from/have memories of different timelines, thereby allowing returning members the option to retcon their whole character. These changes are the result of the "Unnatural Fog" plot device that is running between now and the Respawn. The plot is simple: no matter where your character is, that place is shrouded in a thick fog that suspends time, but not thoughts or memories, so even if they're repeating the same day over and over again, they continue to remember, so each time feels like a new day. For those retconning OCs; this is where new versions of themselves have the opportunity to replace the old versions. Official lore and tree updates will be announced asap
It was a magnificent thing, if only he wasn't severly unhappy most of the time. All these facilities, all this power, and he would glady pass it on if only to just be a soldier again. People underestimated the peace one could find in simply doing one's duty. The world weighed heavily, and war was probaby coming again, but he didn't need to burden her with that information either. "Well," he began, "We'll have to do some one on one training next time. I can't clear out the range for us every time. Plus, once you know the course it somewhat loses it's apeal." He picked up his menu and took a read over the choices for today; Smoked Salmon, Steak Tar Tar, and Lamb Kabobs.
He didn't speak for a while as he examined the same three choices, but finally he put the menu down and looked up. "What was it like, being free of everything...for a time." he was of course, referring to her time on the run, when she hadn't been the Baron's daughter, before he'd re-united her with the man.
Post by Caitlin Cockfoster on Sept 26, 2014 7:28:45 GMT
Caitlin nodded when he explained their future arrangements would be one on one, and she understood why. Looking at the menu, she was able to make up her mind much faster than her companion. She waited in comfortable silence for him to decide, but when he spoke it wasn't about their meal options. If she were in the middle of a drink she would have choked on it. Luckily this wasn't the case. She sat her menu down on top of his and met his gaze carefully. She was mentally picking through the truth and trying to find a version of it that wouldn't wreak of pirates and pick pockets. Then she realized trying to contort the truth away from that would only sound false, since he would know about the method of her disappearance, everyone knew at the very least she'd been taken hostage by pirates. (her own pirates).
"It wasn't what one would think," she started slowly, carefully formulating her answer. "I traveled, and it was beautiful." that part was the most unabashed truth, and it flowed freely from her lips. "Nothing terrible happened to me, its not what people think in that regard either. I know there are a lot of awful rumors about me losing my, dignity... but I didn't. I was a pupil to them, and I learned as much as I could about sailing, navigating, I was quick with a blade and they respected that so I was allowed to practice my swordplay. It was like getting to pick what life you want to live, and then living it. I didn't have to be what anyone else expected me to be. The baroness was gone and I was just another blonde head in a sea of plenty." she watched him to see what he thought of all this, then she pushed it one step further.
"There were brunettes and redheads too but those were minor differences compared to others. Some had claws, some with wings. Some could do impossible things without using machinery it was like a dream." How would he react to talk about her working with, learning from, and standing beside a bunch of Ander pirates? Would he be offended by it? Not that she cared what he thought about her crewmen, because lets face it, he's the commander of the EIRAL and its his job to be suspicious of Anders. The M.I. were his natural enemies. What she really needed to know was how he felt about them personally. Since she was one of them...
His reaction to her words wouldn't give her the answer though. He didn't know her crewmen personally and how he thinks about them would only change in knowing them as he knew her. As she waited to see what he would say, she toyed with the idea of coming right out with the truth - and imagined the varying degrees of reactions he might give her in response to such shell shocking news.
She sat her glass down next to the decanter and leaned back. This was nice... like falling into a vat of marshmallow fluff. Calm, muffled, the rest of the world blocked out by the closed door to his cabin, and here they were safe inside. Safe from reality, safe from their own complicated lives. Safe from duty. Safe from context. Just. Safe. --Caitlin
He wasn't really shocked by her admission. Not after he'd spent the morning in the Hovel with her. He was quite aware that she had ties to the Anders. The same people who had killed his family...but that wasn't quite right anymore. Anders had saved Cait's life, one of them had come to drag him to her side so that he could save her life. Another had healed her, even if the old man had charged for his services. It wasn't a world of black and white anymore. He was beginning to see that an individual had killed his family, it didn't matter what race he was. If it had been a human, would he blame all humans? There were so many things that had happened since he'd taken the job of High Commander, things that had opened his eyes. Things that could possibly cost him his job in the end.
He contemplated his reply. She was showing a lot of trust to open up to him about all of that, the least he could do was return the favor. He took a breath and continued to smile as he set the menu down in front of him. "I can sometimes imagine what it would be like to have wings. I've had dreams where I was soaring through the clouds, but to actually be able to do that in real life...to be free like that." he nodded and looked down at his hands for a moment. They were covered in as much blood as anyone elses in the war. "There was a time I would have spit upon the ground you walk on for admitting to cavorting with Anders....I had a family once, but they were killed during an Ander attack. I became the epitome of what the Anders all hate in the EIRAL, the reason why MI exists. I take no pride in that, but I was so very angry. I suppose it's human nature to lash out at a group based on the actions of a small group of individuals. Look at the wars we fight with other nations, the atrocities we've commited in the name of the church against others. We love persecution."
Skye shook his head and looked up slowly, there was a sadness there, but also something resembling hope, "I envy you in the experiences you've had. You've seen a part of another world that most of us will never get a chance to experience. If only we could all be so lucky to pick which life we want to live."
Post by Caitlin Cockfoster on Sept 30, 2014 5:20:39 GMT
Caitlin listened with an expression schooled in polite interest. Under that though, she was avidly interested in everything he shared with her. There were so many intimate details of his background hinted at through the brief summary he gave her. His thought wondered for a moment and he brought up the illusive M.I. even to her, they were a mystery. They had been quiet for years now, it made one wonder if they disappeared in the war or if they were bidding time.
"We all make surface level judgments until we gain access to deeper details. As a leader its something you have to do, put on the spot and making a split second decision you have to work with what you know. I understand that and I wouldn't blame you." Inwardly she just hoped he'd have enough deeper details about her to not panic when the inevitable truth surfaced. "I didn't get too far though did I? I'm still back here, being the baroness again. Unfortunately we can't run away from all of our responsibilities. Most especially family... or we might live to regret it." He would understand her meaning. He had been there the evening she'd learned to regret her choices of evasion.
She sat her glass down next to the decanter and leaned back. This was nice... like falling into a vat of marshmallow fluff. Calm, muffled, the rest of the world blocked out by the closed door to his cabin, and here they were safe inside. Safe from reality, safe from their own complicated lives. Safe from duty. Safe from context. Just. Safe. --Caitlin
"Sounds like you know a thing or two about leadership yourself." He smiled, slightly goading her in. He wasn't sure if he meant to imply such a thing, but he had his suspicions. She'd run off with pirates, and come back from being one. Not a mantle one could toss off so easily. "Family is important, but a family can be many things. These people here are my family, but I don't know what I'd do if I was faced with a choice between this life and something or someone I truly loved. Love is a dangerous thing, that way. It can topple nations and ignite wars, all over a concept. Though concept or not, it hurts no less when the thing you love most is ripped away from you. Maybe it's to keep from feeling that pain that we always choose love, sometimes over duty and honor." he shrugged, and waved over their waiter who moved with military precision.
"The Steak today, Piere," he said handing his menu back as the sommelier refilled his glass of wine.
Post by Caitlin Cockfoster on Oct 7, 2014 1:06:34 GMT
He had a point, had it not been for the loss of her mother, the pain of love lost, would she have picked back up the pieces of her former life and labored on with the farce? The robbery of her family member taken out of her life so sudden and unexpectedly had brought her closer to her father. She respected the man and she loved him, even if they agreed on absolutely nothing. He had loved her so much that by the time he learned of her mothers betrayal, the secret in her blood, he overlooked her deception for the sake of the family they had built together. Not to mention he still believed Cait to be a half breed anyway and would, out of hope for her to have a human half, continue to think so.
"I'll have the Salmon please," she told the waiter after Skye set his order. As the man collected the menus she sipped at her drink in contemplative silence. It was a few moments before she spoke again, and without preamble too.
"Why did you do it? Why did you insist on courting me to my father?"
She sat her glass down next to the decanter and leaned back. This was nice... like falling into a vat of marshmallow fluff. Calm, muffled, the rest of the world blocked out by the closed door to his cabin, and here they were safe inside. Safe from reality, safe from their own complicated lives. Safe from duty. Safe from context. Just. Safe. --Caitlin
It was a fair question. At the time he really hadn't thought about it much, he'd just acted, but everyone was driven by something. "Honestly? I don't like being told what to do and who I can show interest in. I suppose that's completely skewed from what I actually do, but then that's why I tried to run away, I suppose. I've spent so long following orders, being the good soldier, taking the lashings that were sent my way." he took a breath and another sip of his wine, perhaps it would make him braver.
"You're the first thing that hasn't fit into the whole plan that's been set for me. Even with how things started. Whenever we spend time together, I feel revitalized. Although there were times when I tried to forget that feeling, like during the Festival of Hearts. I suppose, no I know, when you're father told me it would be improper for me to be seen with you anymore, I couldn't accept that and I certainly couldn't accept that you might be with another man. It hurt enough to see you with Will, but to have you completely out of reach? I can't do that." He pursed his lips as he fished and shrugged, it was the best answer he could give. He didn't care about becoming Baron, or the money and power that would gain him, he cared about her. Like he'd said, love makes people do crazy and inexplicable things.
Post by Caitlin Cockfoster on Oct 11, 2014 6:17:11 GMT
Caitlin nodded along to most of what he was saying. She too hated feeling controlled, and because of that, so few people ever could control her, she was rebellious in a way he probably couldn't afford to be. It must feel so stifling to be the commander of the EIRALs. She was stunned by the fact he even measured her place in his life against the overall plan for it. She knew an Ander, a full blood ander had no place in a Commanders life, but she couldn't confess that, not now. She kept silent, nodding when it made sense to. It was his confession about the festival of hearts that did her in.
He had invested an interest in her, that long ago? Everything had gone wrong between them in their early days. Why would he feel anything for her against the grain of their experience? However he'd done it, it was real. She could see it in the way he looked at her - even as he shrugged off the words as if they didn't mean everything that they did. She had felt it in the way he kissed her the first and the last time. Caitlin felt light, like there were bubbles in her chest and her heart was floating on them, up to her throat to get stuck there.
"It would seem I made the wrong choices then," she whispered softly, referring to that night at the festival. Not that WIll was a bad man, an equally bad mate for an Ander, what with all his tinkering and mechanical business, but still... he had walked out on her. He left her without warning or answers. Not even a clue to solve for herself. It had been the wrong choice for her.
She sat her glass down next to the decanter and leaned back. This was nice... like falling into a vat of marshmallow fluff. Calm, muffled, the rest of the world blocked out by the closed door to his cabin, and here they were safe inside. Safe from reality, safe from their own complicated lives. Safe from duty. Safe from context. Just. Safe. --Caitlin
He smiled brightly at her words and reached for her hand across the table. "I'm sure you made the best choice given the circumstances at the time. After all, I had just pulled a sword on you over your mother's bed, and then there was the uniform." he shook his head in recollection of that ridiculous getup. How had anyone thought it would be a good idea to show him off in such a manner. The only benefit he could see from the whole affair was that it had brought his people closer.
"It's easy to look back at our choices and wonder how things would have gone if we had simply made another choice." He looked across the table, keeping his eyes locked onto hers. They seemed to sparkle in the light of the officer's club. "I'm as guilty as the rest. I wonder what would have happened if I'd tried to run before my parents could have sent me off to the military academy, but it's useless. The past can be quite vengeful when it wants to be, always reminding you of your failure with little you can do to change anything. We can't change the past no matter how much we want to, and acceptance of that helps when you have to move on. Besides, if all my choices led me to this place and to meeting you, I have to say that it was well worth it."
Post by Caitlin Cockfoster on Oct 17, 2014 4:44:45 GMT
"Talk about a positive attitude," she said lightly, a smile tugging the corner of her lips. Her eyes were a little watery with regret, for her mothers passing. He was right of course, wishing to turn back time and relive the past wouldn't change her fate. Although it might have granted Caitlin an opportunity to say Goodbye, who knows what might have happened to herself if she rewrote time. She might have been hit by a steam car and killed crossing the street or some other freak accident just trying to get home with her new found knowledge. Any small difference could turn into a big one without meaning it to.
He held her hand on the table top and she looked down at their fingers touching. "You're so... self assured, you seem to really have life figured out, I envy that." she told him. He was so... solid, so rooted firm in his reality. She didn't feel like she was planted in the same kind of soil. Her feet weren't nearly as rooted, if they were rooted at all. Her eyes lifted to meet his gaze again. "I never know where I stand, its like being caught between two worlds, and not knowing which one to live in." That probably didn't make sense out of context but she couldn't help saying it. This glorious chapel of military sanctuary and ornate tradition felt almost confessional to her and the truth reflexively came out.
She sat her glass down next to the decanter and leaned back. This was nice... like falling into a vat of marshmallow fluff. Calm, muffled, the rest of the world blocked out by the closed door to his cabin, and here they were safe inside. Safe from reality, safe from their own complicated lives. Safe from duty. Safe from context. Just. Safe. --Caitlin
He was self assured? He didn't feel it at all. If anything he felt the same as she did, a man trapped between two worlds but forced into the one that fit everyone else best. Not that it was a bad thing to seem self assured. He was a leader here, and a leader had to show the best face. That was the first lesson he'd learned when in command, always look like you know what you're doing, even if you are just as afraid and conflicted as everyone else. People had to have someone to look up to when things were at their darkest, a person to look up to and think 'if he can do it so can I.'
"The best advice I can give, is to choose the world you want to be in the most. You can't live your life to make others happy, it's not something I would recommend anyway. I just hope that when you have to make that decision that I in that world with you." he flashed her a half smile and gave her a wink. It was a lot to hope for, he knew. She might not even choose him to be with her in the world she sat in right now, but as was his training he appeared confident, as if he already knew her choice.
He might have said more, but one of the wait staff appeared with their meals under fancy silver domed covers. "Bon Apatite," the man said and disappeared back into the kitchen area.
Post by Caitlin Cockfoster on Oct 24, 2014 14:35:52 GMT
She liked the sound of that, but it was bitter sweet. the idea of committing to one life was a wish fulfilled, but it would also mean the death of the other life and for that she would grieve regardless of which one she had to bury in the past. Their food arrived and the spread was beautiful. They may not be nobles in the army but the officers certainly dined like some. It was almost laughable to think taking on the role of baron might be a step down in pampering if he got to eat like this every day. Even her own father didn't dine so exquisitely every meal. Though proprieties were of course observed no matter what in their home.
"Everything looks remarkable, thank you for having me here," she chirped with genuine gratitude. After the server departed she returned to their prior discussion. "That sounds less stressful, choosing one over the other and being done with it," Actually that was true to of her love life but she refrained from making that comment. "But I don't know how to face severing myself from either life fully. Before when I was niave enough to believe I'd done it, I was faced with the loss of my mother and realized how poorly I had managed my life leading up to her passing."
She sat her glass down next to the decanter and leaned back. This was nice... like falling into a vat of marshmallow fluff. Calm, muffled, the rest of the world blocked out by the closed door to his cabin, and here they were safe inside. Safe from reality, safe from their own complicated lives. Safe from duty. Safe from context. Just. Safe. --Caitlin
He cut off a small piece of his meal and savored the taste as he placed it in his mouth. If he ever found himself in a different life, he would certainly miss the meals. Chef Andy was one of the best he'd met and he kept the man at a rather high salary to ensure that he wasn't poached by anyone else. When he'd swallowed and washed it down with a sip of his wine he placed his fork and knife flat on the table and folded his hands.
"Even when we choose beyond a doubt which world we wish to live in, it doesn't protect from loss. Being there doesn't stop what's coming. I gave my all to this life, decided that I would stop looking back, and I lost something that took a large part of myself in the process. I can move on, I can find my spark again, but I'll never get back what I lost. Family is one of the most important things you can have, including that family that isn't related by blood." He let out a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. He wasn't ready to reveal more than that just now, if ever.
"From the way you speak, it sounds like you are literally between two worlds. I take that to mean you still have ties in the...adventuring community?" he chose his words carefully. "Those people who took you under their wings and taught you how to live outside of your parental bonds, are they any less family? The girl who jumped out the window, for example." he didn't look or sound as if he was accusing her of anything. He was quite relaxed in his posture, and when he was finished speaking he returned to his food.
Post by Caitlin Cockfoster on Oct 28, 2014 17:07:34 GMT
Her eyes were sparkling at him as he gave her a glimpse of his inner self but when he pegged her too close to her own truth, she picked up her fork and dropped her gaze to her food. Taking a bite the same time as he did, she bid for time. What to say to that?
"Family can be as big and varied as a persons heart has the space to encompass them I suppose. And one's heart does yearn for the excitement of ones past, tinting our memories in rose colored goggles and urging us to return as often as we draw breath," or maybe that was just her. She wasn't much of a poet, so her attempt to be vague or cryptic was probably more of a failure than the smokescreen she meant it to be. She cringed at her own language.
"What I mean is... I, care about them, and yes, the girl jumping from the window is one such example. Thank you again for releasing her. She really doesn't mean anyone harm, she's more of a danger to herself with romanticized idea's of glory."
She sat her glass down next to the decanter and leaned back. This was nice... like falling into a vat of marshmallow fluff. Calm, muffled, the rest of the world blocked out by the closed door to his cabin, and here they were safe inside. Safe from reality, safe from their own complicated lives. Safe from duty. Safe from context. Just. Safe. --Caitlin
He nodded, taking in her features as she spoke. He'd been drawn, since the beginning, to that spark she hid below the surface, but had he failed to notice how stunning she was? Perhaps he had missed that or it had grown up on him, but it didn't really matter just now. She was stunningly beautiful, and for a few moments he couldn't help but stare. When he finally looked back to his food, his smile had grown ten fold. He forced himself to take a bite and consider his next words.
"The past, for me, holds very little that I wish to look back upon, so I envy you that. The only thing I really have any control over is my future, and from where I'm sitting I'm starting to have high hopes for where it will take me." He looked back up to see if he could catch her eye before continuing. "Releasing your friend was not a problem. She hadn't really committed any crimes other than trespassing, and the beauty of my position is that I get to choose which rules I wish to follow. I suppose it's a slight abuse of power, but I don't think anyone is so virtuous as the ignore those abilities. At least I'm not attempting a coup or other such nonsense." There was more he wasn't saying. Information he had which she thought forgotten, but he wouldn't reveal those things. Not when it could mean her looking at him again with fear.
Shoutbox
Welcome to the Shoutbox - If You Have Discord, Ask to Join the Discord Server