Prepare for the #LodanRespawn2024 Existing characters may choose to be displace from/have memories of different timelines, thereby allowing returning members the option to retcon their whole character. These changes are the result of the "Unnatural Fog" plot device that is running between now and the Respawn. The plot is simple: no matter where your character is, that place is shrouded in a thick fog that suspends time, but not thoughts or memories, so even if they're repeating the same day over and over again, they continue to remember, so each time feels like a new day. For those retconning OCs; this is where new versions of themselves have the opportunity to replace the old versions. Official lore and tree updates will be announced asap
Steadily, Sayvahn listened to Lasair. He continued to rest his head against Lasair’s shoulder, feeling Lasair’s body quiver along with his words. When he was done, Sayvahn waited a moment. Then, he shrugged. “Do whatever you want,” Sayvahn stated flatly. “Clean, read, sleep. Anything.” Drawing away a little, Sayvahn met the firefox’s eyes. “No on is asking you to do anything, Lasair. Just you.” After all, Sayvahn wasn’t advertising for Lasair to pick up and restore MI to its previous state. In fact, Sayvahn almost wanted the opposite. “Instead of asking what you should be doing,” Sayvahn sighed, leaning his head back against Lasair. “You should be asking what you want to do instead.”
“In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught." ― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Apr 9, 2018 2:04:27 GMT
Nodding silently, Lasair played over the question in his head. “I want… for this place to feel like a home again. Not just to me, but to all anders that have no other place to go. That’s what this was in the beginning, do you know that? This was a place of refuge, to learn about your heritage as well as adjust your skills in magic. That’s what made me grow to love this place.” He took a few small steps forward, looking up at the books and recognizing a few that he had read in the past.
“I know I always avoid talking about my past, throwing it all under the guise of ‘well I traveled around a lot before coming back here’ but there was a lot more to it than that. I’m an anderswelter, Sayvahn. And I had to hide that fact everywhere I went. The tiniest little scrape would give me away. Hell even the bruises I had following a fight never quite looked right. Everywhere I went, if anyone found out, I was ran out of town. Shunned. Some even tried to murder me. I—I always hoped, dreamed even, that I would find a place, hell even a person, that wouldn’t mind it. That wouldn’t turn it into a whole big ordeal. You know, like the characters in stories. But that never happened. Every time I bled, fear and panic coursed through my brain as I hoped, preyed even, that no one would notice. But they’d always notice, always see. I was always in the spotlight, you know? After a time, I grew tired. I came back to this city because, well, I figured it would be the most likely spot for me to lose that fear. And shortly after arriving back in town, I found myself here, at these halls.” Tears started to dot his eyes again, but he kept talking despite that, lost in his own monologue. “Suddenly I no longer had to fear bleeding. I had a place to teach me magic. I had found acceptance, a home. After running around dramn near the entire world, it wasn’t until I was back here that the fear went away. This place became a home to me, and that’s what I want it to be for everyone else who’s felt the fear I have.”
Various memories played behind his eyes as he stood there with his companion. The girl who had grabbed a piece of his heart and then gave it back when she saw his blood; the elderly woman that had housed him when no one else would, only to later turn him away and spit on his face; the gay man that had sat with him because they were both alone in the city, but yet preferred actual solitude upon learning why Lasair was alone.
Before disappearing, Lasair had hoped to turn the guild into something even more; something that wouldn’t just comfort people for the fear they held, but also work towards removing the cause of that fear altogether. But that was a different time. Now, he just wanted to welcome people into the halls anew and showed them what it was like to feel at home once again.
Sayvahn listened. He listened, and understood faintly. He was an ander as well, after all. But, he grew up around others that were a bit more open. Though, he still bled red and not black like tar. Maybe if he had, then people would not have accepted him as they had. To them, Sayvahn was exotic. Was new. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t bled either. “Then make it a home,” Sayvahn stated, stepping forward. “Become an innkeeper. MI’s keeper. Whatever you want to call it.” Just don’t leave again— “Make it a refuge. Become a teacher.” Just don’t leave me again—“Make it Home.” Putting his arm’s around Lasair, Sayvahn held him gently. If Lasair wanted to break free, he could. Just a slight quiver, and Sayvahn would release him. “No matter what you are, who you’ve been, what you will become. Whatever you deicide, I know you’ll put your heart into it and it will be beautiful— just like the man that lured me into a forest what seemed like so long ago.” MI may be Lasair’s refuge, but Sayvahn was never good with places. No, he preferred his refuge to be someone. Someone that could be there wherever the tide took them. But, the tide was always taking something, too. Sayvahn wondered what the tide would take this time. “I think MI needs you just as much as you need it.” Hopefully his voice was strong. Hopefully it didn’t seem feigned and unsure like how he was feeling right then. Leaning his forehead against Lasair’s back, Sayvahn bit his tongue. Regardless of what Lasair choose, Sayvan wondered if there would be any room for him. After all, “You love it, don’t you? This place. And, I think people will come, will sense that love and MI will grow and maybe— maybe it will become home again.” But not for him. Sayvahn wondered how long he could still pass the test, still find his way back to it. Just finding it today was difficult. But the future? How long will MI keep its doors open to him? At least the doors were open long enough for him to see Lasair again. “Whatever you decide, you’ll do great. I know you will.”
“In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught." ― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on May 21, 2018 5:52:49 GMT
Leaning into the other, Lasair swallowed hard and then nodded his head. “Yeah. I think I’d like that. It’s going to be hard I think. Without having anyone around, everything is going to be so…quiet. More so than it was before, you know?” He nodded again slowly, running ideas in his head.
“What do you think I should do? Should I contact the old members? Should I look for new ones? Are you going to stay around? It’s been so long, I certainly know that.” Signing, he rubbed his eyes for a moment. “I didn’t expect you to be happy to see me, but I am thankful for it. I certainly can’t ask you to be around, but,” he caught himself, not wanting to guilt the other one into anything. Lasair had just escaped from quite the environment, and while he was a bit beaten and worn from it, he could handle himself on his own. He hadn’t made his way to the guild hall in just one day.
Separating from the other for a moment and looking at him now, Lasair spoke up again. “Sayvahn, what is it that you want from the guild? Do you even have a reason left for being here? I, well, I don’t want to keep you here if you’ve moved on.”
Lasair was stammering. Or at least, that’s how Sayvahn saw it. Normally he was the one to stammer around the firefox, but now? Sayvahn didn’t know what to do. It was almost as if their roles were reversed. For so long Lasair was the one with a mission, with a plan. Sayvahn just followed along. That’s all he ever did. But now? Now Lasair was asking for his advice. That itself wasn’t new. Sayvahn was sure Lasair asked of his opinions before, but this time… it seemed his answer would be taken with a more heavy consideration as opposed to a diplomatic one.
“I—“ Sayvahn bit his lip. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to make a choice. What if he made the bad one? Zeara told him to think about his words before he pushed through them. So, he tried his best. “You should contact old members. Look for new ones. But I don’t think members is even the right word anymore.” Sayvahn hated the lack of contact between them. It felt too distant, even if they were only just a fraction apart. He reached for Lasair’s hand. “Not members. But residents, or maybe refugees? People that need a place to stay. The world’s gone crazy,”—I’ve gone crazy, “And they need a place where it’s safe. MI can be that place again,” giving Lasair’s hand a light squeeze, Sayvahn continued, “But, no missions. If people want to start a revolution, let them. But you don’t have to lead it. Not if you don’t want to, and… I’m not sure if you even want to do that anymore.” Maybe Lasair never wanted to in the first place.
The fact that Lasair thought Sayvahn wouldn’t be happy to see him made Sayvahn lower his eyes. “Of course I would be happy to see you. I love you, Lasair. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I’ll always want you back. I’ll always be happy to see you back. Now, I won’t deny that I’ll be upset that you left— mainly because I worry that you’ll abandon me. That you’ve grown to despise me or something like that—” There were so many reasons why Lasair could, and would, leave Sayvahn that the older feline didn’t want to list any in case Lasair didn’t realize it himself.
Then, there was the question. Lasair didn’t want to ask Sayvahn to stay, but he was implying it. Besides, what did Sayvahn want? Zeara had been asking him the same question. What did he need from MI? What did he want? Sayvahn could hear Zeara call to his mind, repeating their chant “breathe in, breathe out.” Sayvahn’s thoughts raced. Lasair wanted an answer now. He couldn’t think straight, so he just did what he always did. “I was going to leave. I wanted to leave. There’s been so much pain, so much anguish— I can’t even tell you all of it— but Lasair, I can’t leave you.” Yet he pulled away from Lasair’s hand. He had to, to cover his face, to bury his shame in his hands. “My reason, maybe my only reason for staying here, was you. I had moved on— I was going to leave. I was going to take my mask and just leave because you weren’t here but then you were and now I don’t know what to do. I love you, and I thought you loved me too but then you disappeared. I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t know what to do—,” Lowering his hands from his face, Savyahn revealed the hazy red of his eyes and the tears that dotted their corners,“—But I love you. So please. Please, tell me what you want me to do, my love. I—" Sayvahn tried to speak through the tears but he couldn't. He swallowed, and tried to once more. "I— I'm yours, Lasair. S-so please, tell me what you want me to do."
“In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught." ― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Oct 20, 2018 18:59:09 GMT
At first, Lasair just listened slowly to the other talk, following along with a solemn nod. But as Sayvahn’s words became more touching, more sincere, he found his heart growing heavy, wondering just how much damage he has caused to his elder friend. But as Sayvahn finished talking, Lasair’s heart melted and he pulled the other into a firm hug. “I want you to feel welcomed here, even if you’re not sure of why you belong. If you need anything at all, this is the place where you’ll find it. Food, shelter, companionship, anything at all. I can understand that you’ve tried to move on and I feel awful for being the reason to drag you back down, so please, don’t feel so tied to this place, this guild anymore. It is here for you, but you aren’t a member. You’re a guest. And you’re welcome to stay as long as you like.” He was taking the elder’s advice and rolling with it as fast as he could.
Pulling apart from the hug ever so slightly, he looked to Sayvahn and placed a light kiss on his cheek. “You’ll always be dear to me. I never meant to leave but it brings me so much joy to find you back here. I want you to be happy, and I don’t want to disrupt your life, because surely you’ve been living one without me. But I always want you to stay with me, if only for one night. Having someone there with me would be wonderful to say the least.” Lasair swallowed again, only now realizing that tears were streaming down his face.
“I love you too. I want to fix what I’ve broken.” Again. How many times had he hurt the feline? How many times more would this happen? He wasn’t sure, but he wanted to keep trying to pick up the pieces, no matter how sharp they are.
The hug overwhelmed Sayvahn, but he was grateful for it— if not for that warmth then the fact that maybe Lasair could keep him together. Sayvahn felt like he would crumble without the touch, and even more so as Lasair spoke. His words melted away Sayvahn’s anxieties. Sayvahn could retrieve the mask and give it to Zeara, just as she had asked him to— but he wouldn’t be betraying Lasair either. It hadn’t occurred to Sayvahn that he would have been hurting the firefox— not until he saw him once again. For too long he believed that Lasair had abandoned him but now— The kiss on his cheek caused Sayvahn to pause, for his eyes to widen as Lasair, too, cried. The elder feline processed Lasair’s words, what he said, what he meant. Then, the returned “I love you.” Sayvahn gently cupped Lasair’s cheek, rubbing some of the firefox’s tears away. He wanted to say so many things in response. Wanted to blurt out every single thought he had, but he could only say, “Then fix me and stay with me tonight.” Zeara would be concerned, but she would understand. Sayvahn hoped she would. Wrapping his arms around Lasair once more, he held him tightly. “We can talk about everything, or nothing at all. We can stare at the stars, or just sleep. Anything, as long as I’m here with you.”
“In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught." ― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Nov 8, 2018 4:32:53 GMT
The firefox was surprised by the invitation, but was also deeply touched by it. Sayvahn was willing to take him back, despite everything they had been through. Would Lasair always be welcomed into his life? The concept of it was certainly endearing as they shared the hug together.
“If you’ll have me, I think I would like to stay with you tonight.” The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind before; he assumed that he had to stay in the guild hall simply because it was where he lived. He forgot that others had places to call home too, places to besides here in these walls. He didn’t quite miss having somewhere else to be, instead, he had embraced his new home without looking back. The idea of spending the night elsewhere didn’t scare him, and Sayvahn was very inviting. “I can spend time catching up with the guild tomorrow. Tonight I would much rather have a friend.”
If Sayvahn had known Lasair thought they would be leaving the guild, he would have corrected him. In fact, it hadn’t crossed his mind to leave. Not when Lasair was here. However, if asked about it, Sayvahn would ponder the option. In all honesty, he rather not have Lasair and Zeara meet, though, it was better to have them meet sooner rather than later. Zeara had ways of finding things out, especially if Sayvahn was keeping it from her. Thus, he probably would take Lasair “home,” but again, it hadn’t occurred to Sayvahn to do so. Thus, in blissful ignorance Sayvahn nodded, flashing a shy smile at the “friend” comment. He couldn’t help but chuckle at it, holding up his hand as if to fight back the sound. “It’s been so long,” Sayvahn spoke, almost dreamily. So much had happened since the fox’s disappearance— the memory of which made Sayvahn awake from his blissful dream. Gods. He hoped Lasair wouldn’t run into Edelweiss soon, but knowing their relationship, Lasair most likely would. Sayvahn just hoped that nothing ill would come of it. “I almost don’t know what to say, or um, do.” Not when Zeara had been pruning him to be a silent assistant. He almost couldn’t remember how he used to be— how his mannerisms once were. Sayvahn hoped Lasair wouldn’t notice, or that if he did he wouldn’t mind the change.
“In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught." ― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Post by Lasair Landevier Lupen on Nov 12, 2018 3:50:03 GMT
Lasair held his companion gently, his gaze sneaking off to look over the room. The library really needed a good dusting, the older books should be checked for signs of damage. His mind started to drift off, imagining what all needing to be done here, as well as the rest of the guild, but he shook his head, dismissing the wandering thought. “Well, we don’t have to leave right away, unless you want to? I’m not sure how much time you want to spend here, but I’m not choosy. I really want to focus on you rather than on the guild. Are you hungry?” Sayvahn seemed a bit nervous, or at least at a loss for words. But after meeting a friend that you thought abandoned you, how could you blame them? So Lasair simply wanted to reconnect with the feline and rekindle their lost relationship. He’d be happy to do that in any way possible.
"All you need is love." -John Lennon
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