Prepare for the #LodanRespawn2024 Existing characters may choose to be displace from/have memories of different timelines, thereby allowing returning members the option to retcon their whole character. These changes are the result of the "Unnatural Fog" plot device that is running between now and the Respawn. The plot is simple: no matter where your character is, that place is shrouded in a thick fog that suspends time, but not thoughts or memories, so even if they're repeating the same day over and over again, they continue to remember, so each time feels like a new day. For those retconning OCs; this is where new versions of themselves have the opportunity to replace the old versions. Official lore and tree updates will be announced asap
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Nov 1, 2017 3:04:02 GMT
She had no protests to make for that course of action - he could rest a little longer while she went ahead and got clean, no issues. But that last comment along him blushing made her raise an eyebrow. "...Amon, you never 'attacked' me. That was just a dream..."
"All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Dalberg-Acton
"Which brings me to another topic..." he continued with a slight sigh as he dropped his hand and turned to face Edel properly. "...Not to bring down the mood, but while we're still clearing our consciences...I..."
He paused for a moment.
Well, too late...better to just rip the band-aid off now...
"...What happened with...Holly..." Amon started up again, carefully trying to form his thoughts. "...I...I didn't mean to put you through all of that...I was caught up in the mood, and I guess I had some weird thought that we wouldn't be able to conceive a child from just that one time..."
"In the end, it was a mistake...not necessarily bad, I would've happily welcomed her with open arms (albeit much earlier than expected)...but one that I take full responsibility for..." he continued with a sigh, his shoulders dropping a little, never breaking eye contact but still internally preparing for the worst.
"And for that...I'm sorry..."
"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible! And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people!" - Taryn, Nerf This
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Nov 1, 2017 4:01:12 GMT
The 'worst' that happened was that as she stopped to listen, the redhead's face slowly went from slightly concerned into slightly confused, then into thoroughly confused, then into fully blank as she really didn't know what face to make. "Are you trying to tell me your mother never told you how babies are made? Because otherwise that doesn't make sense." And considering the story of his own birth, and the fact he actually knew about it, it made even less sense and only served to put her mind into a neverending loop. Human version of a machine's bluescreen of death here.
"You'd been making insinuations to me for months prior that, and then backing down on your own accord after I gave the go ahead. I honestly thought you were weighing resposibilities already." Since it would still be better to back down due to not being ready for it than cause a mess later on. But if that wasn't the case, then what was all that for? "Sure, I didn't expect something to happen from it either (which I should have), but the possibility had always been there. Even if not counting the lack of contraceptives, if you wanted the chances of children to really be as low as possible why didn't you just ask me for which days I would be bleeding and waited until then?" That hadn't even been a judging question, even, just the epithome of her sheer confusion. She'd had plenty of time to think about everything with all possible factors ages before anything had happened - and he had been the one who kept slightly but constantly prodding her into considering it. And even if she did make an effort to overlook that part of the reasoning, which also wouldn't make sense for her to do either, just the concept of doing something with that intense of an impact on anyone's life - maybe even the start of a new life in its entirety - out of an irresponsible whim simply did not fit within her brain. People had died from her doing way smaller miscalculations before; good people too, not just trashy ones.
She honestly didn't know what to think of it or how to react, at all, be it to the apology or anything else.
"No, believe me, I got the 'talk'..." Amon said. "I just...I don't know..." he continued with a despaired sigh as he brought his knees in close and buried his face in his knees.
"...I guess...in the end...I just got too excited..." he said after a moment, unburying his face a little. "...I honestly felt like you were...and still are...the one for me...and I wanted to make you mine and spend the rest of my life with you..."
"...In retrospect, I should have asked you on your thoughts on childbearing and marriage...but I ended up putting the 'carriage in front of the horse' so to speak..." he said, reburying his head into his knees.
"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible! And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people!" - Taryn, Nerf This
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Nov 1, 2017 5:10:31 GMT
Edelweiss blinked. Well, that served to make that utter does-not-compute look fade from her face at the very least, though she still wasn't sure why he seemed so ...in agony... right then. It was true that the current talk had been a topic in her mind and something she'd been wanting to bring up it's been a while already, but "....Isn't that why we're still here?" She re-sat down next to him, this curious little smile forming on her lips as she kept trying to peek at his face (but only managing to partially while he was burying it away from sight like that). "At the very least I'd not let you into my room if I didn't feel the same." Or anything else it entailed. "So it's not as complicated as it seems."
Though once the topic switched into 'thoughts on childbearing and marriage', she could feel her own cheeks turning warmer as well in awkwardness while an equally awkward chuckle escaped her mouth. "Now that's bound to be a tad awkward to talk of, but alright. What of it you want to chat of first?"
"...I guess..." Amon started, shifting to simply laying his head on his knees to get a better look at Edel. "...Let's start from the top: what are...were...your thoughts on the topic...?"
"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible! And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people!" - Taryn, Nerf This
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Nov 1, 2017 5:24:14 GMT
"Generally speaking? Marriage is a social construct that happens when two parts seek something from each other. Love for the lucky, company for the lonely, and other deals for the lacking. Usually it also includes a verbal exchange in front of a priest and crowd just to let them know of vows the couple already should have made on their own, the groom renting a suit he could wear anywhere and the bride buying an expensive dress she'll only wear once, and a fancy party with a giant cake. ...The giant cake might be worth it." Slight shrug.
"As for children... They're children. They're often noisy, fragile, clueless and ridiculously inconvenient - but they're not meant to be any different. It's a parent's duty to love them no matter what they do, and find them beautiful above anything." Then she closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath before looking at him again. "Just please don't call one a 'mistake' while I'm within hearing range again and I'll overlook it this time."
"...Oh..." Amon merely stated, a tad disappointed. To be honest, what exactly was he expecting?
Speaking of honesty...
"I didn't mean it in a bad way...I meant that the mistake was in the timing and unexpectedness, not the child themselves..." Amon hastily tried to tried to explain in an attempt to repair the damage. "I just...I just want to be honest and make sure everything is okay..."
"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible! And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people!" - Taryn, Nerf This
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Nov 1, 2017 5:37:01 GMT
Wow. The disppointment was so thickly ingrained into that 'oh' that she could almost taste it. Like salted coffee. "Can I assume something I said saddened you... hm, I guess it's better to ask: what are -your- opinions of it too?"
And then a reassuring little smile. "That's alright. And the honesty is appreciated."
"All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Dalberg-Acton
"...Honestly speaking...I thought marriage was a little more special..." Amon replied with a small shrug. "Or at least a little more grand. Then again, I can only guess what it's really like based on things I've read and seen..."
"As for kids...well...I could only hope that we would make good parents...we're both toy makers at the very least..."
"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible! And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people!" - Taryn, Nerf This
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Nov 1, 2017 5:55:34 GMT
"It's like any other occasion, I think. The people involved are the ones who make it special," So if a couple thinks it is special then it is, and if they don't then it isn't. "I just give more value to private vows than to any socially-demanded ceremony."
And then about them being parents... "We can ask Sienna, I guess. We do tend to kind of babysit her... plus the twins and Sayvahn, to a fault. Though I guess Sayvahn's more of a snappy teenager going through puberty." She mused with a snicker, that then slowly faded as she thought further about it. "Though I wouldn't know for sure... I do deal with kids a lot at CAEsAL, but they're not... well, they're guild workers. Not mine, nor your average children either, to start with - be it in how they act or how they think. And a lot of them might end up hurt or hurting someone else if they get treated as children too much. I'm not sure how I'd deal with a normal child for long..."
"All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Dalberg-Acton
"...A small blessing in disguise then..." Amon thought, the sliver of a silver lining in this dark cloud. It could be life's way of saying "not quite yet," though in a dark and morbid way.
Alas, but a brief thought to be shoved into the back of the mind and never brought up again.
As for the personal vows...no...not quite yet...just a little more time...
Amon unwrapped his arms from himself and back onto Edel, bringing her in close. "Sorry once again..." he said softly, gently kissing her head and rocking back and forth a little. "I don't mean to bring up dark thoughts or ruin the mood...as I said, I just wanted to be honest and make sure we're okay; set all of our distresses onto the table and clear the slate if you will..."
"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible! And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people!" - Taryn, Nerf This
Post by Edelweiss Fjäril on Nov 1, 2017 6:42:14 GMT
"Being frank, I think a lot of people value weddings so much because for them it's like a lifestyle divisory, 'before and after'. But" children notwithstanding "I can't picture ours changing much. We both have our jobs and our guilds... and staying at each other's place or sharing a bed are not first time occurences, so..." Shrug. She just didn't see a difference anymore (except for the aforementioned giant cake), and ended the thought as it was - a thought.
And then suddenly she'd been brought forth for another hug - not that she'd complain of it.
"It's alright." She giggled. "I'd been meaning to ask about some of it for a while too. And cleaning the slate sounds good." Though cleaning herself sounded like a bless right then too, and she'd probably have to change the bedsheets too at that rate. Amon might be used to staying dirty with all the grease and oil and everything due to his mechanic work, but she was not. And she had been responsible for a lot of deaths the previous evening, so the dirty feeling was natural even if there was no blood on her. So unless there are anything else he needs to discuss upon her mattress, then "I really need a bath though, so, I can let you rest more and we can keep chatting when I'm back, or I can just leave the door open and we keep talking while I'm at it." Or if he feels like coming along now that he no longer seemed terribly mortified about things they hadn't talked of yet, her offer was still open.
"All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." - John Dalberg-Acton
Amon sighed as (what should be) the last of his tension disappeared.
As for the bath...
"Eh...I think I'll join ya..." he said after another moment's pondering. "I'm quite fond of cuddling my honey bunny, plus I can help wash your 'tired' back."
Plus there was the bonus of her helping him. Though he had developed techniques to help himself out with one hand, he, like Edel, wanted to be spoiled at least once in a while...
"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible! And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people!" - Taryn, Nerf This